Friday, February 1, 2008

I see you, Metro...

Low and behold, I opened up my Philadelphia Metro yesterday, and admist the fifteen word articles, I noticed a column by some guy named "Johnny Goodtimes", titled "Never Say Never". His column begins with this paragraph:

"While logging into MSN on Monday, I noticed a column titled "10 Things a Man Should Never Say to a Woman." Being someone who has a rich and voluminous history of saying dumb things to women, I thought I might be just the demographic such an article was aiming for. But alas, most of them were common sense ("are you expecting?") or things no man has ever said to a woman without being stabbed with a meat thermometer ("You are acting like my ex-girlfriend!"). Dumb."

Hmm...Sounds familiar, doesn't it? A mere three weeks ago, I wrote and directed a little one-act called "out of nowhere, a dating advice post". The post started with this paragraph:

"For any of you who have ever had a hotmail account, you are probably aware of the various dating advice lists that MSN posts on its homepage seemingly everyday: "10 first date no-nos", "14 pitfalls in bed", "8 signs she's cheating on you with a short guy". These lists are about as useful as dick-flavored ice cream. They're filled obvious pointers such as "don't punch her in the face when you say hello", as well as empty platitudes like "just be confident". Even worse, they insult your common sense by bringing in some "expert" psychologist to tell you why talking incessantly about your ex-girlfriend on the first date is a bad thing...No really??"

Yes; I conceed that Johnny Goodtimes probably never "read" my "puny" little "blog". Furthermore, I'm willing to admit that hating on the MSN dating lists should be de rigueur among those who have to frequent the site. Nonetheless, HAHAHAHA GOT THERE FIRST, METRO! PWNED! YOU GOT NOTHIN' ON "DICK-FLAVORED ICE CREAM"! ENJOY THE MASSIVE STAFF CUTS!

Have a good weekend.

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