In honor MLK day, top five movies about black people told through the eyes of white men

1. Glory























The story of an all-black regiment in the civil war, BUT WHO WILL LEAD THEM AND TELL THEIR STORY?! Thankfully, the not-miscast-at-all Matthew Broderick bravely takes on the role of regimental CO. Broderick's character is a brilliant tactician, having effectively played dead in Antietam in the opening scene of the movie. Unfortunately, that type of behavior is frowned upon by military leaders as 'cowardice' (to quote David Brent: "Guilty! Get a new rule book! Alright.").

Ultimately, Broderick gets his shot at redemption by heroically leading the regiment into battle against a heavily fortified Confederate position, giving his life in the process. The last shot of the movie focuses on Broderick's lifeless corpse being rolled into a burial ditch by confederate soldiers; a symbolic representation of the ultimate sacrifice given for freedom and country.

Also starring Denzel Washington and Morgan Freeman.

2. Glory Road
























The story of the all-black starting five on the NCAA championship winning 1966 Texas Western Miners, BUT WHO WILL LEAD THEM?! Perfectly-quiff'ed whitey Don Haskins, that's who. Throughout the movie, Haskins faces many harrowing obstacles thrown upon him for coaching a predominantly black team: His wife gets invited to less cocktail parties. His children get teased at school. Other coaches probably think a little less of him, but there is no way for him to truly know because most of the comments are shamefully made behind his back.

Thankfully, Coach Haskins is able to overcome these obstacles and lead his team by spewing a bunch of typical sports movie BS about 'coming together' and 'taking that one shot'. These movie coaches need better speech writers.


3. Last King of Scotland













Idi Amin was a fascinating historical figure who led a life that could spawn a million tales. That said, WHO IS THE WHITE MAN THAT CAN TELL HIS STORY?! Thankfully, some skinny Scotsman, whose name I'm not even going to research, decides to go to Africa after getting his medical degree. Mr. genius Scotsman doesn't even bother to do his homework before going to Uganda, as he finds out there is a coup in progress after he lands in the country. Despite this basic dumbassery, however, he somehow finds his way into Amin's inner-circle. In the end , though, this blue-eyed beanpole is 'only one' to discover Amin's horrors. After realizing Amin's abuses, he does the brave thing and skips out of the country. No wonder Scotland has never won anything.


4. Round Midnight.

















A movie about a jazz musician in Paris as told by a white Frenchman. I was the only one who saw this movie.



5. Dangerous Minds/Freedom Writers/The Substitute

BUT WHO WILL TEACH THEM!?