Thursday, September 20, 2007

The Tweener Manifesto

Hello. This is the Tweener manifesto, and we have to say: A spectre is gettin' all up in your spot.

We are the ones at your Fishtown parties, sportin' regular haircuts. We are the ones entering Honey's, recognizing only one couple. We are the four dudes watching your band live, and you are the lead singer wondering who the fuck at least two of us are.

We prowl the Rittenhouse bars, faking it with the J-Crew set. We say "Pat the bat is back!" to all the frat boys, knowing he never left us. We go to Mad River, and then leave one minute later and never come back. That place just blows under all circumstances.

This is the story of the Philly Tweener.

You may ask; what is a 'tweener'?

Wikipedia defines a tweener as someone who is between Gen X and middle aged. Do me a favor, and throw that definition in the marketing garbage can where 'mellenials' should be.

A tweener, in fact, is someone who is in between social circles. For the east coast urban dweller, a tweener is someone who is not quite a hipster, and not quite a yuppie. We are culture vulture, information whores, but we don't have the right job. Or we may not play guitar the right way. Nevertheless, we have friends from both sides, but call neither home.

I can hear you groaning right now. "wahh hipsters, hipsters! Hipsters drive on the road like this. Hipsters take key bumps like that. I'm so sick and tired of people whining about hipsters!"

You're full of shit.

This blog is a Philly guide for the classic tweener. Philly is the key actor in this play. It is the great second city that will threaten, but never be, a first. It gathers your tired, poor, and hungry first city burnouts and feeds them overrated hoagies. Its compact center city, and closeness of surrounding relevant neighborhoods, makes it the best city on the east coast to be a social chameleon.

You may ask: What about other cities? Can a tweener exist in NYC? No. If you are tweener in NYC, you don't have a plan, and you are already broke. Hit mom and dad up for money or move out.

Washington, D.C.? LOL. A tweener needs two subcultures to exist.

So sit back and enjoy. You are going to see the Philly world through our prism. Bars, restaurants, neighborhoods, house parties, social etiquette, bands, street festivals, sports, and defunct creative marketing firms...We'll talk about it.

Coming next week:

This bar could be your social life: Bob and Barbara's
This week in hoods': Fishtown
Have car, will travel to: New York City
Blowing up your spot: Fairmount house party

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