Wednesday, January 30, 2008

You thought the D and the C stood for District and Columbia?: A Southern Bureau Sexperiment

9 D.C WORKERS FIRED FOR LOOKING AT PORN


I don’t know what office life is like in Philadelphia, but here in DC, we work "hard."

Nine DC employees were recently fired for looking at porn on the job, on average, 200 times a day. Apparently, 19000 j-off moments a year will get you fired, 2000 times a year only results in a letter sent home. For those of you reading this from your cubicle, sneaking quick peeks at Facebook or Slate, let me ask you: have you seen any naked t and/or a today? Not a single facial? Ha--welcome to D.C., suckers.

TWO HUNDRED TIMES A DAY. That's 25 clicks an hour. Quite a challenge, yes. But as a healthy, undersexed lady, I figured I was up for it. Video and images are fair game. No animals or children. 8 hours…200 porn site clicks…GO:

Hour 1: I’ve luckily learned a lot from ex-boyfriends: I’m undeserving of love (Ha. Ha. Sigh.) and where to find the best porn on the www. Youporn, EasyNews and TheHun are all quality sites for the best in homemade, professional, fetish, classic, nu-wave, girl on girl, girl on guy, Victorian, scatty, pissy, etc. Bookmark them, dear reader, you will thank me later. I can easily watch 25 videos of my choosing. This is much more fun than making copies or drinking superfluous cups of coffee.

Hour 2: Watching porn is one thing, but getting off to porn is quite another. Were these discarded D.C. employees just viewing? Did anybody check the bathroom stalls? Is it getting hot in here?

Hour 3: Hmmmmm..uhh. mmmmmm. oh. Oh. Oh. *privacy demand*

Hour 4: These dicks are starting to look alike. Vaginas come in various shapes and sizes, and they are all pretty ugly.

Hour 5: Email. Actual work. Email. Facebook. Newspapers. MP3 downloading.

Hour 6: The switch from videos to static images. Booooooooooring. Warning: do not indulge hippie porn. The lure of “all natural” women is not worth the nauseating, bushy, lesbian orgy.

Hour 7: Switch back to videos. Hm. Meh. Email. Actual work.

Hour 8: The end of the day…most government supervisors have already left. A little bit of Hour 3, but mostly, I just want to get home in time to catch TMZ.

In sum, I found it impossible to click on 100 porn sites in one day, let alone 200. And that was just the average for these now-unemployed pervs. Or should I say underemployed…I think my little experiment should be a wake-up call to the mayor: employees who can check out porn 200 times in a work day show superhuman tenacity, determination, courage under fire, etc. I love this town.

11 comments:

Scott said...

No Redtube? Your ex-boyfriends were in the dark.

Unknown said...

what about xtube?!? c'mon

Ryan said...

Redtube repped.

Anonymous said...

[u][b]Xrumer[/b][/u]

[b]Xrumer SEO Professionals

As Xrumer experts, we from been using [url=http://www.xrumer-seo.com]Xrumer[/url] quest of a wish immediately now and know how to harness the enormous power of Xrumer and go off it into a Bills machine.

We also purvey the cheapest prices on the market. Many competitors will cost 2x or temperate 3x and a lot of the term 5x what we pervade you. But we have faith in providing prominent mending at a debilitated affordable rate. The entire something of purchasing Xrumer blasts is because it is a cheaper substitute to buying Xrumer. So we focusing to keep that bit in rebuke and provide you with the cheapest grade possible.

Not just do we take the most successfully prices but our turnaround in the good old days b simultaneously for the treatment of your Xrumer posting is wonderful fast. We will pull someone's leg your posting done ahead of you discern it.

We also cater you with a full log of affluent posts on manifold forums. So that you can notice over the extent of yourself the power of Xrumer and how we get harnessed it to help your site.[/b]


[b]Search Engine Optimization

Using Xrumer you can wish to apprehend thousands upon thousands of backlinks in behalf of your site. Myriad of the forums that your Place you settle upon be posted on get great PageRank. Having your association on these sites can deep down mitigate strengthen up some cover grade recoil from links and as a matter of fact aid your Alexa Rating and Google PageRank rating via the roof.

This is making your put more and more popular. And with this developing in popularity as well as PageRank you can keep in view to appreciate your site in effect superiority high in those Search Motor Results.
Above

The amount of see trade that can be obtained by harnessing the power of Xrumer is enormous. You are publishing your locality to tens of thousands of forums. With our higher packages you may regular be publishing your locale to HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS of forums. Visualize 1 mail on a stylish forum drive almost always enter 1000 or so views, with say 100 of those people visiting your site. Modern devise tens of thousands of posts on fashionable forums all getting 1000 views each. Your see trade will withdraw sometimes non-standard due to the roof.

These are all targeted visitors that are interested or exotic about your site. Envision how assorted sales or leads you can achieve with this considerable gang of targeted visitors. You are in fact stumbling upon a goldmine friendly to be picked and profited from.

Reminisce over, Traffic is Money.
[/b]

GET YOUR TWOPENNY ERUPTION TODAY:


http://www.xrumer-seo.com

Anonymous said...

Dear JAck,

For long time I use this free software: [url=http://www.freeflvtomp3converter.com]FLV to MP3 free converter[/url].

FLV to MP3 free converter is a free YouTube, MegaVideo, MilkandCookies and similar video sites to MP3 Converter and allows you to convert a video to MP3 file.

This software is fast, free, and requires no signup. All you need is a FLV Video file, and this software will extract the MP3, and give you an audio file.

So you are able to listen to your favorite YouTube tracks on every MP3 player.

You can download it for free at [url=http://www.freeflvtomp3converter.com]www.freeflvtomp3converter.com[/url].

I hope this help you.

Anonymous said...

You could easily be making money online in the underground world of [URL=http://www.www.blackhatmoneymaker.com]blackhat script[/URL], You are far from alone if you have no clue about blackhat marketing. Blackhat marketing uses little-known or not-so-known avenues to produce an income online.

Anonymous said...

www.pornvideoonline.info

http://www.pornvideodownload.info/

www.pornvideotorrent.info

www.gaypornonline.info

www.teenpornonline.info

http://www.freepornvideosonline.info/

www.bestpornvideo.info

[url=http://www.pornvideoonline.info]Porn video online[/url]
[url=http://www.pornvideodownload.info]Porn video download[/url]
[url=http://www.pornvideotorrent.info]Porn video torrent[/url]
[url=http://www.gaypornonline.info]Gay porn online[/url]
[url=http://www.teenpornonline.info]Teen porn online[/url]
[url=http://www.freepornvideosonline.info]Free porn videos online[/url]
[url=http://www.bestpornvideo.info]Best porn video[/url]

Anonymous said...

resource to [b]buy software for windows[/b] are available here:

buy software for windows
[url=http://www.buysoftwareforwindows.com]buy software for windows[/url]

[url=http://www.buysoftwareforwindows.com/products/buy-video-to-mp3-converter/productpage.php]buy video to mp3 converter[/url]

buy dvd to ipod converter

Anonymous said...

url to [b]download software for windows[/b] are available at:

download software for windows
[url=http://www.downloadsoftwareforwindows.com]download software for windows[/url]

[url=http://www.downloadsoftwareforwindows.com/products/download-flv-to-avi-converter/productpage.php]download flv to avi converter[/url]

download internet explorer history software

Anonymous said...

address for [b]software downloads[/b] are reachable at:

Windows YouTube downloader
[url=http://www.1800soft.com]Windows YouTube downloader[/url]

betting software
[url=http://www.betextremesoft.com]betting software[/url]

buy software for windows
[url=http://www.buysoftwareforwindows.com]buy software for windows[/url]

download software for windows
[url=http://www.downloadsoftwareforwindows.com]download software for windows[/url]

Download Youtube Videos
[url=http://www.downloadyoutubevideos.co.uk]Download Youtube Videos[/url]

FLV to AVI converter
[url=http://www.flvtoavi.co.uk]FLV to AVI[/url]

DVD ripper
[url=http://www.flvtodvd.com]DVD ripper[/url]

Video converter
[url=http://www.hollydollyvideo.com]Video converter[/url]

Home video converter software
[url=http://www.homevideopage.com]Home video software[/url]

Poker software
[url=http://www.pokerwinningvideo.com]Poker video software[/url]

Shark Video Downloader
[url=http://www.sharkvideopage.com]Shark Video Downloader software[/url]

Simplest YouTube Internet Video Downloader
[url=http://www.simplestutils.com]Watermark Software[/url]

Popular screensavers
[url=http://www.popularscreensaverpage.com]Popular Screensaver[/url]

Hyper YouTube Magic Tool XXX
[url=http://www.andromedaapps.com]Hyper YouTube Magic Tool XXX[/url]

Free FLV converter
[url=http://www.cassiopeiasoft.com]Free FLV converter[/url]

Working YouTube downloader
[url=http://www.pegasusapps.com]Working YouTube downloader[/url]

Anonymous said...

top [url=http://www.c-online-casino.co.uk/]casino online[/url] hinder the latest [url=http://www.realcazinoz.com/]free casino games[/url] manumitted no store reward at the foremost [url=http://www.baywatchcasino.com/]bay watch casino
[/url].