Monday, November 19, 2007

A Tweener Thanksgiving Week pt. 1: Guide to Europe

We don't know about you, but we here at the Tweener are fucking exhausted right now. Chalk it up to a 9-5 combined with three hour journalism classes three days a week, homework, blogging, "reporting", weekend debauchery, and we are just about beat. Thank god for thanksgiving break, then, where I can go home to sweet Baltimore and not worry about anything for four days.

Since this week offers relaxation, however, I'm going to break convention and take you all back to a time where I ruled the universe: 2003. It was a time of travel, music, courderoy jackets, foreign love, and lost wallets. Over the past weekend, my annointed princess of 2003 wrote a post* that inspired me to take a trip back, and in the first of this series, I'm taking you through europe baby!

*Take everything she says at face value.

Guide to Europe

To be honest, I don't know shit about Europe. Oh; sure, I've BEEN to Europe, including the following cities: Amsterdam, London, Edinburgh, Munich, Budapest, Venice, Rome, Florence, Barcelona, Paris, Moscow, and St. Petersburg. About half the cities on this list I was only in for 2-3 days, and they can be summarily dismissed as follows:

Munich- A nice place...Can someone help me out here?

Munich- An old, wonderful Bavarian town with a humungous park in the middle of it. To be honest, we indulged in a hotel room and hardly left it except to go to beer halls and the tourist attractions, which included...err...Some kind of church or something with a big tower. My lack of anything interesting to say about this city hilariously manifested itself in a conversation with an outrageously hot German student in my graduate program. You can pretty much take this paragraph verbatim and apply it to what I said to her. As a result, she’s not flashing me those big smiles anymore.

The Danube River - All we wanted was some gatorade

Budapest- It was day 9 in our month-long trip through Europe in the Spring of 03. We were suffering, for you see, the non-alcoholic drink selection in Europe is terrible. I mean, all you’ve got is soda, sub-tropicana orange juice, and mineral water. But there it was: Arrayed on the banks of the sparkling Danube River, the Gatorade beckoned. As we got closer, however, we realized that the area was roped off for a Gatorade-sponsored triathalon. Fucking Triatheletes.

The other experience in Budapest included getting berated by a waitress at a Hungarian restaurant for being American. At least that’s what I think happened, as we couldn’t understand her non-American language. We sure showed her, however, as we eat all of the complementary bread and high-tailed it out of there!

Vienna - soul crushing

Vienna- Ragtime street musicians, Intimidating 18th-century Imperial architecture, free public transportation, swaths of parkland filled with gorgeous vistas, excellent local cuisine, and a city brimming with a rich cultural heritage everywhere you look. Yes; Vienna is as boring as it sounds. The only way I was able to fight the terrible boredom was by having a friend in the city who could show me to the parts that weren’t drowning in the wrist-slitting ‘pleasures’ of culture and heritage.

Italy-a hellhole

Venice- If you aren’t married, don’t even bother. The food also sucks. In fact, just understand this mantra: Just because you are in Italy does not mean you will eat well wherever you go.

Rome- Italians are secretly the biggest assholes in Europe. I honestly don’t know how the French got their reputation for being rude, because I found them to be moderate, whilst almost every American I know who has been to Italy noticed that the Italians hate our asses, unless you are wearing a Che Gueverra t-shirt. Apparently, Argentine people are descended from Italians, which explains the love for Che. Italians should thank their luck stars that they get to claim Calvino.

Rome is a dirty city where you can really ‘feel’ the history..

Just watch this movie
Barcelona- Be sure to schedule your trip during anytime other than a holiday. I found this out the hard way when the whole place become the “the city that sleeps their asses off” when I was there at the of April.

Part 2 tomorrow...


Anonymous said...

Its not my first time to pay a visit this site, i am browsing this web site dailly
and get nice facts from here everyday.

Anonymous said...

Magnificent beat ! I would like to apprentice while you amend your site, how could i subscribe for a blog website?
The account helped me a appropriate deal. I have been
tiny bit acquainted of this your broadcast offered vibrant transparent

Feel free to visit my web site: click here

Anonymous said...

Its like you read my mind! You seem to understand
a lot approximately this, like you wrote the book
in it or something. I think that you simply can do with a few percent
to drive the message home a bit, but other than that, that is fantastic blog.
A great read. I will definitely be back.

Here is my weblog - the motorcycle

Anonymous said...

Fascinating blog! Is your theme custom made or did you
download it from somewhere? A design like yours with a few
simple adjustements would really make my blog shine. Please let me know
where you got your theme. Bless you

my website ...

Anonymous said...

Today, while I was at work, my cousin stole my iPad and tested to see if it can survive a twenty five foot
drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation.
My iPad is now broken and she has 83 views. I know this is totally off topic but I had to share it with someone!

Here is my page - college

Anonymous said...

Hey very interesting blog!

My homepage

Anonymous said...

I just like the valuable information you supply for your
articles. I will bookmark your blog and test once more
right here regularly. I am moderately sure I will learn lots of new stuff right right here!
Best of luck for the next!

Look at my website cornine in a red dress And black panties

Anonymous said...

I love your blog.. very nice colors & theme.
Did you create this website yourself or did you hire someone to
do it for you? Plz respond as I'm looking to create my own blog and would like to know where u got this from. appreciate it

Also visit my web site ... the gallery

Anonymous said...

Have you ever considered about adding a little bit more than just your articles?

I mean, what you say is fundamental and everything.

But think of if you added some great photos or video clips to give your posts more,
"pop"! Your content is excellent but with pics and video
clips, this website could certainly be one of the best in its field.
Very good blog!

Take a look at my web blog

Anonymous said...

I blog quite often and I genuinely appreciate your information.

The article has really peaked my interest. I am going to bookmark
your blog and keep checking for new details about once per week.

I opted in for your RSS feed too.

My blog -

Anonymous said...

Great blog you've got here.. It's difficult to find high quality writing like yours nowadays.
I really appreciate individuals like you! Take care!

my site ...

Anonymous said...

Awesome blog! Is your theme custom made or did you download it from somewhere?

A design like yours with a few simple adjustements would really make my blog stand out.
Please let me know where you got your theme. Thanks

Feel free to surf to my webpage her ass is spanked while she gives a hand job

Anonymous said...

Pretty section of content. I just stumbled upon your weblog and in accession capital to assert that
I acquire actually enjoyed account your weblog posts. Any way
I will be subscribing in your augment and even I fulfillment you get admission to persistently quickly.

my homepage; porn reviews

Anonymous said...

e cigarette, electronic cigarette, smokeless cigarettes, best e cigarette, smokeless cigarettes, e cigarette reviews