Tuesday, October 30, 2007

A band that can inspire a thousand bad puns: Audible

I saw the Philly band Audible Saturday night at Johnny Brendas. Apparently, their lead singer has really "paid his dues" around here, and is really "connected" to the Philly music scene.

The Tweener convicts Audible of the following indie rock crimes:

1.)Token attractive female "playing" un-plugged keyboard. From Spiritualized, the Dandy Warhols, to the Warlocks, there is a time-honored tradition of the indie rock female keyboardist whose musical contribution is questionable. At least you could *hear* the keyboardists I mentioned, however, as I'm not even sure Audible's keyboardist had an actual keyboard on stage. It looked like the band bought a 747 flight recorder from a pawn shop and painted "Casio" on it.

2.) Additional token female playing the bass. "Hey current girlfriend, I need a bassist for my band. Can you pick this up?". Usually, this practice results in some fine musicians (see Kim Deal, Kim Gordon). The undercurrent of this practice, however, is that the bass isn't as important. And why not? It's only the rythmic foundation of your music.

Rest assured, however, if these guys don't care about bass, than they must be some great guitarists?

3.) NO. This is indie rock, fool. Three electric guitars, all playing the exact same shit. You know this is costing you money, right? Why don't you jettison one of your guitarists? Ok, one guy played lead; typical "in-the-pocket", repititive indie-lead. I'm not asking you to play a five-minute solo or anything, but how about showing me that you have a pulse. Give me some crazy effects, makes some noise, trip over one of your cords and fall into the drum kit, DO ANYTHING.

4.) Bad vocals. I'm sure all of us saw this coming anyway.

Whatever. Audible wasn't worth the two hour lunch I had to take to finally decide on writing this.

1 comment:

Ryan said...

At least their name makes sense in football terms. "What? Relay/The Capitol Years/The Teeth cancelled? Well, call Audible I guess." RED 21 HIKE