Are you tired of working in big media? Do you have an Ivy League Degree? Are you one those "connectors" from Malcolm Gladwell's The Tipping Point- someone knows everyone and everything - who can look down on other people?
We believe we have a position for you. The Tweener - the premier upstart cultural blog in Philadelphia - is looking to hire a few talented writers to accommodate their growing readership of 10, and sometimes on a good day, 15, readers. We want comedic writers, and our studies have shown that all good comedy comes from the Ivy League.
For this position, we are looking for the following:
-An Ivy League degree
-This Ivy League degree must be from Harvard
-New York address preferable
-5"9" an absolute minimum
-5-7 years experience in blogging or publishing
This is an unpaid internship with a weekly stipend of Campbell's Soup (non-chunky).
To apply for this position, DO NOT send us a resume. Just e-mail us telling us how awesome you are, a few key namedrops, a link to your blog, and a brief sentence telling us that you went to Harvard.
Phone calls are not ok.
Map Builder Associate
Are you a web designer at a creative marketing firm? Are you fat? Do you find the life being sucked out of you? Has your CEO been murdered?
The Tweener- the premier googlemap-based cityguide blog in Philadelphia- can't build a fucking map. There must be compatibility issues that we expect you to solve.
To qualify for this position, you must have the following abilities:
-Be able to go to http://www.mapbuilder.net/
-Sign in with the username "gozer25" and password "trane1"
-Click on "source code" and insert the Google API code that I will send to you.
-Past source code onto blog post
-Tell us why it isn't working
-then fix it.
This is a 1 hour position that will pay you a free bowl pack.
To apply for this position, please send us a resume, cover letter, and portfolio over the phone. Carrier pigeon also accepted
Please: NO emails about this job!
Parking Ticket Coordinator
Are you desperate for a job?!?
The Tweener - the premier subsidized-by-parents blog about making it on your own in the city - has a shitload of parking tickets. We need them to be paid before Dad makes good on his 23 threats to stop paying the lease.
To apply for this position, send me a check for 500 dollars and wait to hear from us.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007